heyyyyyyyy
i was very sad for some hours-- precisely twenty-four hours!
in the Glasscock 85th Poetry Competition in Mount Holyoke College, where apparently Sylvia Plath, Shelly, William Carles Williams, Steve Eddison-- and a horde of other famous poets have read during the last 85 years and won, and where I read too! (yeei) but didn't win (waaa) was a peculiar experience.
I was the last poet to perform, and after my performance was over-- people rushed to tell me "u must win! u r definitely winning, u were outstanding! u were breathtaking, u were a pro, most powerful performance".yattiyattiyatta-- even 2 out of 3 judges told me "u were outstanding. an extraordinary performance"-- GUESS WHAT!! the next morning, they handed down the prize to someone else! wat the hell was tht? a practical joke? i was pissed.
on my way to the bus station from the college, the driver who gave us a ride, a white veteran--who hates baseball players making millions, whereas the American President doesn't...(i guess his point would be, even though he 's "playing" politics?)-- asked me, "how was everything?" me-" o it was good. not as much as I wished it would be though." him-" where did we fail you?" me-- "nothing in particular." him-- "aah...i see, so everything in general? hahaha?" no, you daft idiot -- everything in particular!
anyway, i was pissed. and i still am a little. and i guess i do a pretty bad job when i try to hide it. because when i consciously TRY to hide my disappointment, i end up making it more apparent. like the way i congratulated the winner, "hey! congratulations. " her-- "Thanks. but u had the best performance. u were breathtaking. i loved your reading the best". me--"thanks. but they still made you the winner" (huh! Tina control! do u understand the words coming out of your mouth!) she-- makes a confused facial expression, which probably translates as 'u bitch! did u just say what i think u said'. me-- "hehe...?!*&$...umm...hehe" i even suck at damage control. so i just shuffled away somehow, after having made myself and the girl end up in quintessential awkwardness! almost like getting caught with your pants down.
okbye. let me go sulk a lil more
3 comments:
Hahaha. You know you're great. Competitions are passe my friend.
you go sweetheart!!! I can't believe they gave the prize to that wierd woman. Unki maa ki... ok ok ...but imho ya da best. If appreciation of craft was the biggest prize ...you have won it already by the overwhelming sounds of clapping you received while walking away from the stage.
Hi Tina,
Well, I have something to share with you. To my knowledge....you were not hurt about "not being appreciated". You were appreciated.
Probably, you were upset about them giving you this hope...and snatching it away from you....Well honey, both you and me know by now that the world isn't fair....lorbo, korbo, morbo :)..and with this post...the journey has already begun :) Go Girl!!!
Love,
Raggi di.
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